What it’s like to have a baby on your own using donor sperm
Plus: what I wore to a Vogue party this week and a sneak peek at their new exhibition
Happy Friday, friends.
Vogue: Inventing the Runway is a new immersive exhibition exploring the history of the modern runway show on at the Lightroom in London until next April. They held a premiere this week, hosted by Cate Blanchett, Anna Wintour, Chioma Nnadi, Nicholas Hytner and Mark Guiducci and I went along to check it out.
It’s an astounding achievement; you’re bombarded from all four walls with images and video of runway shows, with Blanchett’s smooth tones narrating you through it, accompanied by an awesome soundtrack. You’d only need a passing interest in fashion to really get into this. It’s thrilling stuff and they basically show all the iconic highlights - Alexander McQueen’s S/S99 show featuring paint-spraying robots, Louis Vuitton’s S/S13 yellow checked bonanza, John Galliano’s S/S94 Russian fairytale - so it’s never dull. It’s so captivating, in fact, that I really think you could take your kids to it. They’ll be transfixed (it’s 50 minutes long so they shouldn’t get too restless). And it’s often genuinely moving: the talent, the creativity, the lives lost.
But getting ready for a Vogue party is an intimidating task. The dress code was “cocktail festive” so I went with one of my favourite London labels, Vespertine, and wore their Tay dress, a beautiful green bias cut silk satin slip. I paired it with this faux fur coat from Mango, some trusty old black Zara heels, and a Chloe handbag. Very “cocktail festive”.
One of the highlights of the night was seeing Zadie Smith in the flesh - absolutely stunning and so chic, naturally. Seeing Anna up close is always a treat too. What an icon. She actually has such a warm presence, greeting everyone with a smile. I also enjoyed a few of the Vogue staffers who had to leave early to go see Charli XCX at the O2 stealthily trying to make their way out without being seen by the boss. There were some delicious canapes from Ottolenghi, I drank a bunch of Champagne, and caught up with some friends. A delightful evening.
There have been so many good Wicked press junket memes this week but this is the one I’m holding the most space for. I feel seen.
There was news this week in the UK that the number of women without a partner having children by IVF or sperm donation has trebled in the past 10 years. A report by the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority found that, in total, 4800 women without a partner had IVF or donor insemination treatment in 2022, a 243% increase from 2012.
What’s most cheering about this news, for me, is how attitudes are changing towards these women who take their fertility, and futures, into their own hands. I like to think that their increasing confidence to go against the grain really illustrates our society having a more sympathetic view towards how families are made.
When I was single at 36, and thought that I’d really quite like a child of my own, I naturally gave this path some thought. But I never really considered it as an option myself. Why? Honestly, fear. I think it is such an incredibly brave choice and I recall feeling quite envious of the women who had decided to just go for it. How courageous they were, how fearless. Imagine living your life like that?
So when, sometime last year, a single friend of mine told me that she was 12 weeks pregnant with a sperm donor (I had no idea she was taking this route) I was completely overjoyed for her. She was 39 and had decided to take things into her own hands. I admired her forthright approach to a deep seated desire that she had. What a remarkable thing to do, I thought. How loved that baby will be.
And so, to hear from a woman who has actually gone through this, I asked her if she would consider answering a few questions for me, to share her experience, the good and the bad, and break down some of the stigma that women can still face. So here, in her own words, is my beautiful friend speaking about her decision to have her beautiful boy. I think it’s really quite lovely.