A brand new lifestyle column about moving abroad!
Plus: a little update from me, VB x Mango, and the £5 coffee solution
Hello, dear readers! Next week I’ll have been on Substack for five months (don’t worry, I’m not about to commemorate the internet’s most insignificant milestone). There are almost 5000 of you who now subscribe from all over the world. Having spent the last few years as an Editor-in-Chief, where writing takes a back seat, I’m thrilled that this newsletter seems to be resonating with so many readers. I have loved your comments, your vulnerable sharing of personal stories, your witty replies to my pieces (they often make me howl).
I’ve hugely enjoyed writing for women over 35. Women’s media typically targets 20 to 35-year-olds to keep advertisers happy, so I’m glad that so many older millennial women and above are tuning in. Life after 35 isn’t just Netflix and bathtime (although it definitely is sometimes). At 41, life feels exciting and adventurous. Sometimes I feel the same as I was at 25 and other times I feel like a whole other person. I want this newsletter to be a celebration of that. I’m so glad women of all other ages are along for the ride as well. Other genders too!
And now I am introducing a new monthly column. It’s called Slouching Towards… It will interview brilliant, cool women who have packed up their lives and moved abroad: why they did it, how they did it, the best parts of their new city or town and how their move has shaped everything from their style to what they eat. It will start with UK-based women who have moved but down the line… who knows?
My friends and I are all obsessed with the lives we could lead elsewhere and the people we imagine ourselves being there. It’s hard to take a weekend break anywhere without completely getting sucked into dreaming about an alternative fantasy life. After one day in Savannah, Georgia, I was already imagining mine there: drinking a glass of wine in the evening on one of those big porches that the old Victorian houses have, walking among the Spanish moss to my local arty cafe. 18 months after visiting Savannah, from time to time I still look up houses for sale in the city’s South Historic District on Zillow just for fun. I’m banging on about Savannah but, honestly, this happens most places I go. I naively thought Brexit would never happen because who would vote to lose the opportunity to live and work in the 27 countries that make up the EU? Well, as we know, 52% of the UK would and did. I hope this column interests women who fantasise about their alternative lives like I do.
I’ve found that it’s around the age of 35 that women most want to move, start over. So many of us spend our twenties trying to get our careers off the ground and plant some roots and then one day, once a partner and kid(s) have arrived, women look around and think: ‘Is this it? I want to try something else’. And those who aren’t saddled with partners and children often look for a new adventure. I’m very excited to bring these new perspectives and stories to the newsletter and I hope you are too. I have a list of brilliant women I’d love to speak with about this subject but if you would like to nominate someone to be featured, don’t hesitate to message me or comment below with their social media account (public ones only please!).
This week we will be Slouching Towards…Lisbon, meeting my wonderful friend Alex Holder who worked in advertising and as a writer in London before packing up and moving with her family to the Portuguese capital, where she has opened an English language bookshop. I know: dreamy. You can read her interview below.
So just to be clear my new monthly output for paid subscribers will now be:
A post every Friday.
A monthly list of everything I’ve been up to.
Slouching Towards…
Free subscribers will receive one or two posts a month.
I am also working on holding exclusive Chats about relevant topics for paid subscribers. Becoming a paid subscriber (£5 a month or £50 for the year) is the best way to support my work and allow me to continue and to grow the newsletter. Whatever you decide, I am so happy to have you here (yes, really, all of you!). To everyone who has already subscribed, followed, commented and messaged: I have been touched beyond belief. Thank you so much.
What I’ve been enjoying this week…
I was very kindly gifted some pieces from the Victoria Beckham x Mango collection and I genuinely want to express how much I love these two dresses in particular. While some of the collection is sold out, these are still available in all sizes (although be warned sizing is very limited for the collection, only going from a UK 6 to a 12, which, granted, is pretty outrageous). But these are really gorgeous pieces and I am only sharing because I love them! Modelled for you in my garden, or you could click the links below where, dare I say, the models might be doing an even better job at showcasing them.
You can find the pale pink dress here and the black one here. Now someone invite me to a party.
What I’ve not been enjoying this week…
I read with great interest this piece in The Guardian by the always brilliant Sirin Kale about how a single cup of coffee has finally hit the £5 mark in London (incidentally the same price as my Substack!). I’m sure New Yorkers would shrug but this is chaotic news for us Londoners. I rarely buy takeaway coffee these days since we bought this Sage coffee machine, currently on sale for £499.95, two years ago. If my husband and I each bought five cups of takeaway coffee a week (a conservative estimate) at £5 a pop that would be £5200 worth of takeaway coffee in two years. The Sage is really easy to use and makes amazing coffee and we buy Ethical Addictions Farm Direct Espresso coffee beans, which are £23.50 for 1kg. Might be something to think about investing in if you haven’t already!
And without further ado, here is the inaugural Slouching Towards…! I hope you enjoy it. Gillian x
Slouching Towards…Lisbon
Alex Holder, 40, is a writer and bookshop owner who moved from Dalston, east London, to Lisbon, Portugal in 2019.
Where’s your new home?
A rented apartment in Lisbon. We don’t have any outdoor space but if I stand on my tiptoes in the lounge, I can just about see the sea.
What inspired you to move to Lisbon?
I was invited over on a press trip by Second Home (the co-work space) and as part of that visit I had to interview people who lived here, mostly digital nomads, all surfers. My boyfriend Mark and our three-year-old son came too. At the time, and this is laughable now, we “identified” as surfers too. After a week in Lisbon we returned to London and chatted about the trip - we couldn’t deny that the people we’d spoken to were living pretty great lives. It was on a Friday night while we were shopping for dinner in Tesco Metro on Kingsland Road, when we realised that a lot of the people we’d chatted to were probably on the beach at that moment. And because we could – both being freelance – we just thought ‘Fuck it, why not?’
It’s also worth noting that we came before Brexit, so no need for a visa. We count ourselves so lucky that we had that ease of mobility - to pick and choose where we could live in the world and just go for it - not everyone has that.
What do you do for work there?
We both make the bulk of our money by working for brands. I write, Mark art directs. I also write as a journalist and I’d just published a book before moving here. Work continued exactly as it had before in London with quite a few trips back for client meetings and to do events as a speaker. But then came the pandemic and now I never fly back for work and no one expects me to. I still write for brands, I don’t write as much journalism, like everyone else in the world I am trying to finish a book.
My work has definitely been shaped by being in Lisbon though. For a long time I didn’t think I could write as a journalist while I lived far away from the audience I’d be writing for (UK newspapers and magazines). I just don’t feel as plugged in to the temperament of the culture and that matters. Sometimes the UK feels really far away, and that distance from the news cycle meant I started to see it differently, I could suddenly spot the idiosyncrasies in the way the UK discusses things and presents the news. I found I couldn’t join in with the latest gripe.
And now I’ve opened up a bookshop! After working on my laptop for four years and not having any colleagues, it’s lovely having a physical space and a community, and I do love boring people about books so I get to do that too.
Three best things about your new home?
The sunshine.
The pace.
Our bookshop (every time I unlock the doors I’m still like, ‘What, how did that happen?’)
How has your style changed since moving to Lisbon?
A lot more hats, not a single heel (cobbles abound). When I moved here a friend said to me, ‘When you live by the beach you are allowed to have a sunglasses and swimsuit wardrobe’, so unlike the sad drawer of holiday clothes I had in London, I now have lots of beach options. My London wardrobe looks so officey to me now, though I do miss how other people dress in London – it’s rare to see a look in Lisbon, everyone’s shuffling around in Birkenstocks and linen, me included.
Has your diet changed?
Yes! This is the most surprising thing. Mainly because I am a junk food addict and suddenly couldn’t satisfy that craving for NikNaks or Gold bars. There’s not a lot of ready-made meals here either, no Waitrose fishcakes or Sainsbury’s moussaka so we cook from scratch a lot. We are healthier; yoghurt or freshly squeezed orange juice is now treat food.
How has it been meeting people?
The first two years were hard. Lots of awkward first dates in coffee shops and lots of meeting people at the school gate which meant our friendship group became weirdly heteronormative with mums asking for my number and dads asking for my boyfriend’s. That was a weird stage of friendship making.
Now I have the best group, and the bookshop has brought even more brilliant people into my life. I do miss friends from home though. I get especially triggered by those memes where people say a phone call is the worst thing that can happen to them, I call people all the time.
What do your children make of Lisbon?
My daughter was born here so knows no difference. My son says he misses London but I think just to annoy me as surely he can’t remember being three? In terms of comparing having a toddler in London vs Lisbon, Lisbon wins for me. The parks don’t make me want to lie on the ground and cry – and they all have kiosks serving miniature beers next to the swings. Child-care is cheaper (we pay £500ish per month for a full time nursery for our 2-year-old). Apart from pushing the pram up a steep, cobbled hill, life feels easier in many ways.
What are the challenges and what do you miss?
I miss people and the Saturday Guardian.
The challenge is the admin. Some days I feel I may die because of the admin – medical insurance, lots of paper receipts, paying bills at the cash point, the bookshop accounting is killing me (can you tell I’m at the end of the tax year?).
How often do you go home? Do you see yourself returning to the UK?
We go home four times a year. Not always as a family, some solo trips to see friends or even one of us taking one kid for a family visit.
I think I would find it hard to return but never say never.
What advice would you offer people thinking about moving abroad?
Close your eyes and just do it. Ride out the pre-move anxiety. If you think about it too much you’ll never do it. We only visited Lisbon for that one week press trip and then decided. Mark then flew over for two nights, saw six apartments and two schools. He chose one of each. I didn’t see our apartment until move-in day.
What three things must everyone do if they’re visiting Lisbon?
Pick up a coffee from Mila’s or Heim and wander around Santos.
There are loads of food options popping up in Lisbon but you really can’t beat a local tasca – don’t try and google the best, just wander into the one nearest to you and order the robalo (grilled seabass).
Come to my bookshop, Salted Books!
You can follow Alex on Instagram here.
Love the new column! Bittersweet to read this example since I’m from Lisbon and relocated to Madrid and now to Zurich for a chance at a better life, given the reality of salaries and taxes in Portugal. Unfortunately Alex’s example isn’t the standard for most locals, but I really love it that foreigners are settling in the city and bringing a fresh perspective into business and culture.
Looking forward to popping into the bookshop when I’m back in town ☺️ best of luck in Lisbon Alex!
Love this new column! I moved from Scotland to London to Montreal, then Berlin and next up Lisbon so this was just a treat to read. Lots of confirmation head nodding from me - it’s never and therefore always a good time to try living in another part of the world.